Sometimes, you just need a little break. A little bit of away time to get your mind completely, COMPLETELY, away from everything. Perusing 9gag, the berry, facebook, youtube, or anything on your computer does not work for me, because that's still staring at a computer screen (a channel for my studies) and according to social psychology's "weapons effect", anything that could possibly trigger association will subconsciously arouse you. "Within sight, within mind".
(See what I did there? Integrating my studies into my slacking off time. I got this.)

SO THE STORY GOES: intended to take a short walk around campus, but then bumped into a bunch of my dancer friends. Then got roped into joining their choreograph, then practiced for an hour = unintentional, extremely long break that completely rejuvenated my whole being. I no longer feel like shit.

THUS-FORE... I GOT THIS, BITCHES! GET AT ME, EXAMS! ... but I would appreciate it if you'll still be nice to me.

P.S. Major kudos to my friends who, in their first time choreographing, created a beautiful choreography in 2 hours to Boyce Avenue's "We Found Love" cover.

Labels: Music

2 more days. 2 more sittings. I cannot wait. I just need this to be over with now.
2 weeks of examinations is way too long for any normal human being to handle.

I need to empty my brain.
I need to do whatever I want and not feel guilty.
I need my friends.
I need my sisters.
I need Christmas spirit.
I need to go rollerblading.
I need the warmth of the sun against my skin.
I need to smell fresh air for hours on end.
I need the sound of flowing water, not from a tap.
I need a long, tight, familiar hug.
I need peace of mind.

Please.

A duck noisily splashes into the pond beside her. She's jolted back to reality as the duck begins to scrounge for food; tidbits of aquatic life in the small pond. She looks around and suddenly realizes how dark it's gotten and how devoid of people the boardwalk has become. How long has she been thinking for? Her thoughts are always too consuming...

I always need a pick-me-up after thinking about depressing things.

In the following video, nothing matters but the section from 2:38 - 3:14.
Emilio. Wrecked. Shit.
Plus, he's not bad on the eyes. ;)
I want a sexy, dancer boyfriend for Christmas. Guitar and singing skills a bonus.
Kthx.



Must... tear eyes... away from... this man's sexy popping skills... and focus on studying for my exam. BUT IT'S SO HARD!!

Edit: Please draw your attention to his knee drop and the fact that it was right on the bass drop. AAAAAHHHHH!!! Tooooo sick! Too sick!

Labels: Dance

I'm dreaming about him again.
He's still trying to apologize and be my friend. But I can see his face now and I'm no longer trying to hide from him. Instead my responses are vague and I try to brush him off.

It's been 3 years, Steff. Please slap yourself across the face.
No, don't. He doesn't deserve that. He doesn't deserve your dreams. He doesn't deserve jack shit from you... and yet here I am writing about him.

Humans don't make sense sometimes.

I've noticed that a lot of my university friends get extremely agitated when talking to their parents over the phone. I can understand that sometimes parents aren't the easiest people to talk to, that they can seem over-doting, incapable of understanding your plights, or can be just out right irritating. But the fact of the matter is that they're your parents and despite how they may act or what they say (or yell), they really have your best interests in mind and they just want what's best for you. After all, if you were stuck raising another human being for 18 years, you'd want to see them happy, succeeding and in good health... right? And if someone you've put so much time, effort, money and love into decides to yell at, scream at, hate on you, or deny your existence, you'd probably feel pretty crushed, no?

Now I'm not a model daughter or anything, I can get just as irritated at my unreasonable parents sometimes... but I try to be good and I try to please mom and dad as best as I can. Being away from them has given me a new appreciation for everything that they do for me and I'm not about to let their sacrifices go to waste. I know they care about me, and in return I want to show care to them too. Step one is to not be snarky towards my mum over the phone... no matter how much she badgers me about my less-than-satisfactory grades.

It's an interesting feeling, one that I just can't put a finger on. It absorbs me, wraps me in its protective cocoon. Inside it, I feel so safe, so at peace with the world, with my life, with who I am. Yet at the exact same time, I feel so much discontentment. I feel so unaccomplished, so unfulfilled, so... nothing. This cocoon, it makes me think, it makes me wonder, it gives me a gentle reminding nudge to be a better person.